The Black Cult of Teachers

So, I was walking down the school hallway late after one of my classes when I heard hushed tones behind a half opened door. The room looked like it was lit by candles and as I peared in, I realized that it was. A strange draft came from that room and inside was a circle of teachers. They wore black robes that hung off of them like some sort of dead thing. In front of them was a text book, written in unholy languages.

"How much homework shall we give the fool this week?" one hissed their voice coated over in pleasure as they flipped the fragile and old pages.

"I say three essays or so. It will be difficult for him to study his other classes material if we give him more essays to write. After all, it takes him several drafts to get it right. He will never find time. Then we will win his soul." another simpered.

One looked up, "And with his hometeaching and desire to go to the temple as well as attend some of the places he needs to gain points, it will be impossible to finish the essays. Not to mention his church calling and part time job."

"By the time we are finished with him," the one holding the book laughed, "He will have straight F's and no time for church and will be fired from his job, unable to pay rent and on the streets!"

Together they shouted: "DOWN WITH ETHAN, ALL HAIL EDUCATION!"

I think I'm in trouble.

The Phrase That Kills Puppies

So, just the other day I got a haircut. Half of it was for work and I still am stuck between "does my hair look better longer or shorter" but either way, I had to have it cut because it was starting to take full on bottles of shampoo to clean. Which in college you can't even afford q-tips.

My job requires me to try and get people applied for a card. Strike that. A credit card. In short my managers are saying "Get at least two cards today...or else." and then when I walk up to someone and this is what it sounds like:

Ethan: Hey, would you like to sign up for a card today?

Customer: Um...well...

Ethan: It will give you ten percent off every time you shop!

Customer: Really! Awesome!

Ethan: I know!

Customer: Wait...is this a credit card?

Ethan:.........................................................................yes.

Customer: HAH! Screw that!

See! The phrase credit card is like you just said, "Hey there! would you like to sign up for me to stab your child?" honestly at the sound of that phrase people run for cover with their food storage! And then I don't get a card and my managers press on me moooore. I'm tempted to start threatening people to sign up for the card. Haha.

On top of it all, my haircut was cut short and when that happens to my hair, I get a big rooster tail that poofs up in the back of my head that makes me look really stupid. (Although in High School I was told by many that it was cute.) I feel really stupid with a little POOF coming out of my head. Besides that the anime convention was lots of fun! That's a blog for another time though!